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slept till 11:30, but i still feel tired. somehow, i always feel tired. it's the weekend, but more and more it seems that life is one long job. i should be happy, for my problems, if there are any, are shallow. why do i feel tired? i'm 28, in decent health as far as i know. i'm in a good relationship, live in a pretty good neighborhood, have good parents, and pinko also. so, why this feeling? i can't blame it on poverty. it's not that profound. and i'm not weary due to the war either. those terrible tragedies induce deeper feelings in me. this feeling is blander, not overwhelming but a burden always. perhaps it is the cost of being human in our age.
or, maybe i should just shut the fuck up, get off my ass, and live. but, how is that done?

n, your reaction was human yesterday. you felt anger, frustration, depression, feelings that school can not teach. you induced laughter and joy with your outburst, also feelings beyond what the school can give. what happened was human. for a moment, you mobilized your humanity against the machine and threw yourself against the overwhelming odds. eventually, you lost, but in that moment, you were a winner, because you breathed the air of self expression and truth. you went beyond the confines, reached out for that something beyond the walls of your imprisonment. for a second, you were free.

let us all "fucking piss on the police," and all other institutional figures. let us learn from the prophets. if you listen closely, and are not held back by tradition and fear, you just might hear them.