ran into silberg last night. after knocking him over, i helped him up. we began a compelling conversation, from which i will cull several choice comments.
we began by talking about children. silberg stated that he would love to pass on his jeans, but didn't think he needed children to do this, as he was leaning toward donating them to a thrift shop. silberg said "while my children may like my jeans, what will they think of my slacks? if they want my clothing, they will have to take them all." silberg said that he would also like to pass down his recording of "jean" a hit for oliver, who sadly, never recorded the twist. silberg is concerned that he will not be able to pass down the family name. "i want a boy george, a young guy i can give dolls to" he exclaimed. silberg thinks he may have to move to san diego when he starts his family, as he thinks that would be a fine place to be a padre. silberg made it clear that he is not completely sold on children however. he is still fuming from the fact that he could not engage his girlfriend's nephew in a conversation about booker ervin. he then went on a rant about how "young children do not give nearly enough thought to the dangers of our foreign policies." he once tried to explain to a young chap that his elmo stuffed animal was made in a vietnamese sweatshop, but this startling tid bit of info did not produce the desired reaction from said youth. "selfish pricks, our young ones are."
silberg then turned to popular culture. "have you seen that new show, "who wants to blow up a small, defenseless country with a significant non-white population and a plethora of natural resources?" it looks really interesting." i told him because i've been sleeping more, that i'm not as cot up on tv as i used to be. silberg became angry as he spoke. "tv could have been used for good. why did swan have to be taken off the air?" silberg thinks our youth spend too much time in front of the tv. "they should be jerking off, or learning about nature, not necessarily in that order." he suggests that the government finance a victor feldman museum, as that "might improve the vibes of our nation." he is angry with radio too. he is concerned that only banal pop music gets a hearing. "why, there is a 50-50 chance that our young will not be exposed to wilber hard on!" he shouted as he sat on the john in the coltrane wiping his a. once, he wanted to duke it out with someone who liked jammin 94.5. "buster, i can't even count how many bad songs they play on that station. the producers at that station must be agents for the government, for their music gives me high anxiety." he then told me "he brooks no grudges with the dj's, but if he meets the dick johnson who created the station, he would blow his head off."
silberg then spoke of his job. "i should have realized that a degree in petting would not help me in the work force." silberg claims that his job could be worse. "hey, i could be the bottom in a male porn movie...i should complain? silberg would like to make more money, as it is hard to properly furnish his cardboard box on the salary he earns. silberg is somewhat on the cheap side. he watches his pennies. he used to watch his penis, but he felt like a dick, so he stopped. he claims to enjoy watching the pennies, although he wishes there was more of a plot. he says he is going to drop a dime on them if the stories don't get better, and take a trip to the french quarter for some action. silberg is not cheap. rather, he is frugal. he once wrote an essay on the difference, but was too cheap (frugal) to print it out. he is saving his change in order to eventually buy a mansion. on the job, he is getting concerned that a few people now know his name. "i might need to move on. what's next, coworkers inviting me to parties?" silberg would prefer not to work, but his landlord, interestingly enough, feels otherwise. lately, he has thought about saving string, but he is unclear on where to cash it in. he hopes to eventually find work that he can be proud of, like being that guy who takes your parking ticket at a major university.
on war, silberg grew tired. "why can't they just have debating teams decide who wins? maybe denzel could direct." silberg thinks war is a waste of resources. "think of how much toilet paper those soldiers use. our boys could be shitting right here in the good old u s of a, but instead, their feces are being spread all over nations with sub par sewage systems leading to disastrous environmental effects." according to silberg, the only good thing about war was that edwin starr song, although he did acknowledge that the temptations version should be better known. he then began to warn me "about the dangers to our national security coming from belize." suddenly, he broke into song with a killer version of "belize release me, let me go." at this point, i knew i must leave. i bid him farewell, but alas, he was not the winning bidder. i made him a second chance offer, but by then, he was too far away from me to hear.
as he walked away, he shouted "don't forget not to write!"
silberg...
he marches to the beatle of his own roach.
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