idea for a speech at a funeral and other musings

a man dies. people mourn. a guy gets up and makes a speech.

"that chuck, he was a fun guy. and now, he will be eaten by fungi. i tell you, that man was determined. he kept his ion the prize. he knew that life was a sweet science. some people didn't know him from atom, but for those who knew him, he was a special man. we will miss him. i remember once, he gave me some change when i asked for it. he didn't have to, but he did anyway. chuck always looked both ways before crossing the paul street. he traveled down the boulevard of broken dreams. chuck was a loner who made his own tracks. in fact, he produced his own albums. smokey robinson said it was a miracle that he lived as long as he did, but i think he was just blowing smokin joe frazier, which is a good blow job if you can get it, and you can get it if you try. you gersh-win some and you lose some.
chuck was a god fearing man. he refused to enter church as an adult, claiming to be afraid of it. chuck, while a firm believer, (he kept himself in great shape, kind of like a hexagon) often questioned the faith hill. once while reading a blog (not the mellish blog) he came upon a line which read "thank god i am cancer free." chuck, in a moment of doubt, wondered "if you are going to thank god for curing you, who are you going to blame for making you sick in the first place?" such thoughts kept chuck out of the good theology schools. chuck was a swinger. he would only buy his food at shaw's. he was a goodman. he rarely blew his own horn, as his was usually in the pawn shop. the man was a great lou reid player, and once made a stevie wonder-ful recording of blue velvet, that was notorious and b.i.g. with the underground crowd. eventually he was railroaded by the austin powers that be. he became depressed, and spent a lot of time in the tub, man, singing "swing low sweet harriot."
and now, chuck is gone, gone gone. he gave it his porgy and bess shot, but the miles of his journey were long, and the road kai winding. eventually, the spain became too much, and his memory grew sketchy. he was no longer miles ahead of the rest. he began to live a lush life, as he drank away many a night and day in order to not feel cole. but by then, his song had been sung, and his angel eyes finally closed last thursday. so we are here now. what's new? just another funeral, but it's a lonesome old town now, as the willow weeps for me, and for all of us. for chuck is gone with the wind, and while spring is here, it feels like winters, as we have become a shelley of our former selves. i guess i'll hang my tears out to dry and sing the blues in the night, as i pour a drink on this night, which is for only the lonely.

a toast for you chuck. make it one for my baby, and one more for the edward abbey road. to be frank chuck, you were the best. enjoy your rest in the mother earth. you were goldman, gold. emma go somewhere else now, fot i've got the jones to split, so pass me a hankie so i can cannonball my eyes out.

bye."