ranting in beantown

i know this sounds bad, but i am really tired of people in wheel chairs getting on the bus. does it have to take that door a half hour to open? and then there are the other people on the bus. there is the guy who smells like a two hundred pound pile of fecal matter. there is the guy who directs traffic..."can you move to the back of the bus. there is plenty of room in the back." first of all, why is this guy doing the work of the driver? why does he even care who stands where? for that matter, why should every one move to the back of the bus? of course, there is the annoying slob who takes up two seats, and there is the jerk who sits in the seat closet to the aisle, which forces you to have to squeeze into the inside seat. worst of all is the fuckhead who lies down taking up four seats, and the nimrod who puts his bag down next to him, taking up 2 to 3 seats.

then, there is the bus itself. who can forget the rear door that needs to be oiled, and makes the sound of a shrieking whistle every time it is opened? or the driver that doesn't honor the first request for the rear door to be opened, hence forcing the rider to shout "i said rear door!" this request can also be made in a pleading manner..."rear door???"

there are the high school students who say "like" every 2 seconds, and the other kids who use the n word as if they collect arcade tickets for each time they use it. there is the guy who tries to talk to the one good looking woman on the bus, and then blames her if she doesn't respond to his inappropriate advances. there is the down on his luck white trash drunk who calls the black driver "brother" and tries to bum a free ride. there is occasionally a drunk who will say awful things that you can't help but laugh at, like the guy on the 19 bus heading to fields corner in dorchester, who said "i shit in my pants, yes i do!" there are the groups of four to seven asian girls with a map who are always stunned to find that harvard is not a collection of high rise buildings.

there is the taped voice that tells us what stop is coming up. the same voice announces "stop requested" when you press a button requesting said stop. going up to the driver and asking for the stop is obviously an obsolete concept, similar to listening to 8 tracks or watching adult films in a movie theater. there is the bus that "runs every 8 minutes" that you have been waiting for for a half hour. and it's cold outside. and you don't have the month of may. and when it comes, the driver doesn't apologize. there is no explanation, no one acknowledges the grave injustice of it all. and then you are stuck in a sea of sweat as the smells of shit suddenly smack you in the face. you hold on for dear life. you always end up next to the most unattractive people on the bus. some fat fuck is banging into you, the one with the back pack that is smashing into you, forcing you to nearly fall into the lap of the 85 year old woman. you will not be given a free ride for this. it will not replace the holocaust on the list of all time crimes.

and your day hasn't even started yet.