overlooked books

" i was a cocksucker for the fbi: the memoir of hoover's male lover."
this fascinating tail of make depravity, written by dick cox, demonstrates a fine hand job. a must read for anyone who wants to dig up joe dirt on the half baked hoover.

"jesus: the early years" by paul peter.
this book focuses on the lord's youth. we learn that "he" liked to swim. often a loner, jesus was forced to enjoy quiet times by himself, as his boasts that he was "the son of god" made him somewhat of an outcast to his peers. however, this ended when his dad went to his high school open house. jesus was punished and beaten for only attaining a c in pagan mythology. he started to pray, and then remembered who was beating him. the book has much to offer. a must read for those who call jesus their "homeboy."

"sex for virgins."
this book explains the ins and outs of sex. written by jack harden.

"how to avoid contact with the outside world"
this book helps you to ignore everyone and everything. sadly, the book itself was ignored. no further details are currently available.

"we delivery."
this is the story of all the take out joints that say "we delivery" on their take out menus and then proceed to spell everything else on the menu perfectly. for example, the great wall in jp, where the chairman resides, says on its menu "we can not be responsible for any lost property in our establishment." they then proceed to write "we delivery." is this a clever gag to "tom" to the "man" in order to increase business, or a simple mistake? if it's a mistake, how can the same menu have responsible and establishment spelled correctly? is there more to this than meets the eye? find out in this clever book, written by henry fong, who, it turns out, did not enjoy the opera in his rare appearance on seinfeld.

"blue balls: an oral history" by richard ball
this book goes into graphic detail about this underrated ailment, which every teenage boy has likely experienced on a formative date. suggestions include sexual detachment, masturbation, and suicide.

ali: what is he trying to say?"
interviews with the great ali. this painfully slow read has its moments, particularly the picture section. ali says that he shouldn't have called frazier an uncle tom, but, in his defense, says that he didn't learn his name until after their three fights. ali also tells us that he had an affair with mrs. marcos, and it was a shoe she threw at him, and not a frazier left hook, that led to his mouth swelling during the "thrilla in manila." as the interviews went on, ali became more talkative. towards the end of the book, he is in training for the boston marathon and is considering a boxing comeback. ahh, the power of books.

bush: the man is a fuckhead and other observations."
no commentary needed.

"pinko in 08"
a book which lays out a program for world renewal and hope. cey you will, ron. you can ron but you can't hide. sorry, you have the ron number. pinko's philosophy is expounded in detail. forward by mellish. a must read that will make you forget everything. of course, at that point, you will also forget that you are reading this book. but, at least you won't remember to vote.

peace.