situation comedy

i was gonna jack benny up, and flip wilson on his ass, but it burns george up when i commit acts of violence, and he guilt trips me by saying "i hope bob doesn't find out about some of this shit you do." it would break rodgers hart if he knew that i had a violent streak. in fact, once i had a violent streak for 56 consecutive days, which really gave joe a jolt. in fact, he felt like he was in a mays, which gave him the willy's. ernie banks on the idea that he will snap out of it. but then, ernie came to a shortstop, and acknowledged that the situation may not get better. ah, for pete's sake, a rose by any other name is still a rose. you can bet on that.

speaking of baseball, for a few years in the 50's, the reds became the red legs. got to win that war on communism, you know. only gildo had the mahones to continue calling them the reds. george, on the other hand, was too tuckered out to do so. for al, the issue was neither black or white, but grey.

also, during this time, red garland became known as red legs garland. around this time, he threatened to punch out a fruit who said that he saw red drinking a cocktail.

sadly, larry died young (1940-1978) i'll grant you, he was by no means a green musician, but this is still way too short a life. mitchell, the whole thing makes me blue.

also, during the 50's, sonny red became sonny redd. the extra d didn't do much for his career, but we do know that he was never called before HUAC, so maybe it helped.

karl marx was referred to as karl grades for a few years, and engels became known as angles, and was only taught in geometry classes, where his left politics were rarely mentioned.

the red sea was rarely mentioned. perhaps it was marooned on an island? the phrase "ready set go" was changed to "bluey set go." helen reddy changed her name to helen not yet. for a few days, the american flag was only white and blue.

in the year 1954, blood was outlawed. if someone got a cut, they would hide, in fear that they would be beaten or even lynched if their neighbors saw that they were red inside.

in boston, the summer youth workers, known as red shirts, became known as yellow jackets. this made the work much tougher, and many of the youth began to pass out from the heat. the whole thing was something out of 2001.

yes, it was a scary time, as all times are. today's age, is equally, if not more, terror-bull. now, you can run, but you can't had, ji. now, every indian or pakistani guy who has a grocery store needs to put a little american flag in his window, just like all the jewish groups felt the need to condemn the rosenbergs. sometimes, they even tell us they are "proud to be an american." of course, they are not referring to costa rica, or peru, but to the united states. sad stuff. but i suppose they have to do it, especially after that crazy redneck played hide and go sikh after 9/11. there were people after this educating us that sikhs aren't even muslims. was the point that it would have been ok for the guy to kill a muslim? man, maybe we should have attacked white christian men after the oklahoma city bombings. hey, shit might have gotten better if we did that. too bad white store owners didn't feel pressured to put "proud to be indian" stickers on their store windows afterward.

yeah, when we get to the point where whites are proud to be indian, maybe we will reach the promised land.

ah, by then the promised land will be too filled with pollution for us to inhabit.