as time as goes by

i realize that i am lucky to know thompson, one of the best people i have met. when i listen to him, i realize that happy days are here again. jerome, if i had a kern for every time thompson made me feel good, i would be a wealthy man. to be candid, his tone is music to my ears.

you know, sometimes they say a man plays by ear, but that can't be so. don't they always play by hand? that's like when someone says they will keep their eyes open for you. you would think they would keep them open for themselves. hey, they are the ones driving, not me.

let's explore some more of this nonsense.

a penny saved is a penny earned. how? how do you earn something by saving it? a slice of pizza saved is a slice of pizza earned. see, it makes no sense.

what the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. well, i can conceive a world without war, but i can't achieve it. i can also conceive of telling the landlord that no one can really own land, and therefore, he is not entitled to my money, but something tells me i won't achieve making this statement.

shit happens. not if you're eating too much cheese.

think globally, act locally. what if there are no acting schools near my house? and what if i don't want to act. maybe i want to dance, or sing? think globally, sing locally.

how about when someone tells me that "jesus loves you." if this is true, should i tell my girlfriend? i guess i would have to let him know i'm not gay, and that it probably wouldn't work, with the age difference and everything.

celebrate diversity. well, anything can qualify under the term diversity. the klan, the mormons, and polygamist cults represent a diversity of thought, but i don't think i will be celebrating them anytime soon.

kiss me, i'm irish. no, i think i'll keep my lips to myself, tomato face.

terrorists, what part of red, white, and blue don't you understand? hey, can they help it if they are color blind? what this statement leaves out is that they have a deep understanding of purple.

these colors don't run. yeah, well those people near the world trade center seemed to be moving pretty fucking quick.

god bless america. is it possible for an entire country to sneeze at the same time?

support our troops. hey, i'm having a hard enough time supporting myself.

pow-mia, you are not forgotten. well, in fact, i never knew who you were, so how can i remember someone i never knew?

vote or die. this isn't really an either/or. millions of people have done both. my grandfather regretted voting for reagan, and then died a few years later. people have even become president and died.

ok my friends. thank you for your time.