god talk

sometimes you will hear someone say about a guy "they need to find god." doesn't this seem like a difficult task? i, for one, have no fucking idea where the cat is. it ain't like he's in the white pages. and what are you gonna do after you find him? you could say, "hey man, where the fuck have you been? you've missed 46 wars, 57 famines, and 87 earthquakes, among other disasters." but, he probably wouldn't dig this.

other times someone will say about someone "they have to get right with god." well, this certainly makes more sense than getting wrong with god. but, you know, i don't want to get right with god. no, i prefer being down here, thank you. let's not speed up my time on earth. and, who am i to tell someone to "get right with god?" how do i know they aren't already right with him? the statement supposes some kind of greatness from the one making the point, but usually, this kind of remark is not made by people that are revolutionizing the world. furthermore, i would rather be left with god than right with him. being left with him sounds like it make take a little longer.

other people will tell you to "put your life in the hands of the lord." well, after finding out where the hands of hundreds of our catholic priests have been, i'm not so sure about this one.

at times, someone will tell us that it is "god's will." well, i thought god was eternal. if he is eternal, why does he need a will? what's he gonna do, leave his record collection to paul? hey god, if you don't mind, i'll take the original copy of eastern sounds.

at other times, people cop out and say "god works in mysterious ways." this is another way of saying "yeah, shit is fucked up big time, but since god is behind everything, let's give him the benefit of the doubt." yeah, slavery, destruction of native populations, the holocaust, genocide in guatemala...quite mysterious.

tied in with this is the "divine plan." just where does the holocaust fit into the divine plan?

and what of the athletes who "just want to thank the lord for giving them the strength to ....." if that is the case, then why bother with practice? why do athletes work out and lift weights if it is really the lord that is giving them the strength? if this is so, why do teams have strength and conditioning coaches? and, why do they go to the doctor when they get injured? shouldn't the lord just give them the strength again, and heal them?

at other times, "god is watching over us." what is he, a peeping tom? hey man, i don't want nobody watching over me. not the government, and not god either. if he wants to watch over somebody, let him start with the 3 billion people on this planet who survive on less than 2 dollars a day. many, of whom, are "right with god," but still don't seem to be able to find much in the way of food and shelter.

ok, enough about Him. bush recently said that russia is using "disproportionate force" against georgia. so far, they have killed about 2,000 people there. we have killed around a million in iraq. america; where the hypocrisy never ends.

isaac hayes, dead at 65. god, why did you have to give him the shaft?

why couldn't it have been cosby instead?