with a little bit of soul

i'm david gurney! don't you understand? i'm david gurney! this man over here, he thinks he is winston churchill. no one knows who he is. but i know one thing. i am david gurney.

at the very least, can tim duncan break a leg? i am tired of those big eyes, and his sincere belief that he has never fouled anyone in his entire career. watching the spurs win championships is like living at the dentist's office. of course, i could always turn the tv off, but i remember what richard pryor said in a film (excuse me, movie, in case irish eddie is reading) once. george jefferson walks into a scene. pryor exclaims "i hate that jive n" (hint; he didn't say negro) his wife says "why don't you turn it off then?" pryor retorts "i spent 300 hundred dollars for that tv, i'm watchin every motherfuckin thing that comes on!!" yes, we live our lives based on certain good lines we have seen in movies. well, what else do you expect from david gurney? at least the monsters are alive and well on maple street.
someone actually traded the van gelder edition of "here comes louis smith." well, it pissed me off anyway. anytime you can get buckshot la funke as a sideman, you should keep that album.

time enough at last, if only he had a working pair of glasses. perhaps it was his own fault for not making more contacts with the outside world, but my eyes don't see it that way. this same man was also ruled obsolete. "you are obsolete! how do the people rule? obsolete obsolete obsolete!" that word looks funny, did i spell it richard right? for i am a native, son, an outsider who never really learned how to wright. ah, only the bald win.

save me. not you jesus. your record doesn't impress me. so far, 7,897,564,875 people have tried to be saved by jesus. a large percentage of these people are now dead. others have become homosexuals and peter sellers of bootleg dvd's. jesus may save, but who starts the game? a good starter should go 7 strong innings eight days a weak. you can't beatle these lines. being saved is all well and good, but how do i keep from needing to be saved in the first place? perhaps by never trying the heroin? i, for one, don't have much faith in michaelangelo's cousin. paul mooney tells us "jesus was black and so was cleopatra." well, fuck him too. i didn't think he was so hip, and the rest of his body wasn't much to look at either. jesus was likely a tan fellow, perhaps a distant relative of amy tan. well, it's a tan to one shot, but anything is possible, kim. jesus is asked to do so much. for a guy who couldn't get off a cross, this seems like a lot of pressure to me. now, i'm not knockin the man, in fact, i admire his stealth body, flowing hair, and light laundry bill. seriously, the man was a monster, on or off of maple street. look, i'm not trying to be syrupy, i'm just telling it like it is, unlike neville chamberlain, who had a tendency to wilt under the pressure of 20,000 young ladies screaming for peace with germany.

death to tyrants. had to tie this rant in with the others. oh, so much to say, but such little skill in which to say it with. i am a hopeless romantic.

i used to say i was a trisexual. i would try anything. i also said i was a bisexual. i said bye to sex a long time ago. sadly, it was not of my own choosing. luckily, this has been rectumfied. a homosexual is someone who has sex at home. this makes sense to me.

hell is other people, said john paul,not sean paul. sasha a deal? i tried to dance my way around that one.

i am in the twilight zone, area code silberg