ode (owed) to dorothy, and to the others

to dorothy, to tom dow, and the rest, i say thank you. dorothy, you have been there through the thick and thin, always commenting, always reading. there were times i thought i couldn't carey on with this blog, and then i drew strength from your words. you have seemingly read them all, from the defeatist diatribes to the puny puns. it is nice to feel a connection with another being, even if that connection is filtered through machines. i don't know who you are, my readers, but i feel closer to you than i do my neighbors, my coworkers, and certainly my government. thank you. seriously, i am sam bowied by your support. your comments make the day go a little faster, and help to bring a smile, however fleeting, to my lips. i hope my blogs do the same for you.

self portrait - because you didn't ask for it, i have decided to paint a portrait (or as steve lawrence would say, a portrate) of myself, with words as my colors and a computer screen as my canvas. to dorothy, and to all of you: the chairman revealed.
i was born by doc rivers, in a little tent city, and i have been running on this long road ever since. i was born on july 20th, 1979, which makes me 28 years old. i was born a jew, but will likely die an agnostic, although my fondness for woody allen and groucho marx does, at times, reach religious levels. i was born in dorchester, the biggest and most diverse neighborhood in boston, ma. as a jew on a largely irish block, i was occasionally accused of killing christ. luckily, no one ever discovered his body, which was hidden in my closet. happily for me, i went to public schools, which by the late 80's, the irish had fled, perhaps thinking they would turn black if they were forced to attend integrated schools. i had a grand time in school, and i quickly became a class clown. among other things, i ran into walls, threw books, clocks, trash cans, and plants out of windows, and threw computers, monitors, desks and once, a teacher's cart, down a flight of stairs. i was also known to yell fuck at the top of my lungs to break a silence, and would go around the class giving answers during quizzes. i was once suspended from school for saying "jesus was a carpenter." i would turn the lights off in a class, yell fuck, and throw books against the wall. i once did a show in the auditorium after school, in which i took my shirt off and jumped off the stage onto a table, which collapsed when i landed on it. i hurt my leg from this, but like a good soldier, i carried on and finished the show. i would also sing in school, usually melodramatic show tunes like "what kind of fool am i" or "who can i turn to". once, i held a note for 18 seconds, but was bummed about this, for i had bragged i could hold it for 20.
after barely surviving high school (i was 1st on a to be expelled list) at the john d o'bryant (formerly, boston technical high school) i went on to umass boston. here, i became a serious student. it made no sense to throw trash cans, seeing as i was now paying for my education. i took many an interesting class, although there was plenty of bullshit too. i ate a lot of free food, and got to look at a diverse section of the female portion of our populace. i met my best friend, pinko, a laid back californian, in a native american literature class. 3,000 miles separated us at birth, and in a school of 12,000, we met in a class of eight. fate? god? oh yeah, it seems silly to call that god while the bombs reign on iraqi children. i almost forgot. but still, a fortunate occurance. i also had classes with atwood, srikanth, hunt, van der meer, and other fine teachers.
eventually i would run into the mental masturbation that is grad school. i have yet to write my grad feces, and in my opinion, was fucked by a professor out of some credits, which finally made me realize that giving up two nights a week to listen to egg heads pontificate was a pointless waste of time.
my hobbies? leisure. beyond that, i have hundreds of jazz cd's, and have helped, since the mid 90's, to further build up my father's fantastic record collection, which surely reaches into the thousands. a certain artist has described me as a jazz genius, but picasso was known to exaggerate. i am a fairly avid reader, usually of left wing nonfiction from the likes of zinn, blum, parenti, and others. i like certain foreign film, documentaries, and indy film. for tv shows, i go with the old classics like i love lucy, the honeymooners, burns and allen, the twilight zone, you bet your life and sanford and son. for newer shows, i like seinfeld, the office, (both british and american) extras, and now, i am just getting to curb your enthusiasm, which i like so far.
i am very close to my parents, two free spirited, funny, intelligent people, who remain youthful spirits into their 60's . i love sports, especially the red sox and the new jersey nets. my favorite athletes are manny ramirez and jason kidd.
currently, i live in jamaica plain, a neighborhood in boston. i live with my girlfriend of many years who i love very much, and who helps to keep me centered to the extent that that is possible. she is an intelligent young woman with a lot of interests, and it has been my pleasure to see her pursue her ideas through the years. i hope i have helped her, as she has helped me.
i remain a cynic with a smile, down but not out. i think we live in a horrible country, but i give it credit for its library system. i think we need to stop dropping bombs on defenseless people. this thought puts me beyond the pale of political discourse in this country. i voted for nader twice, and plan on voting for a hopeless visionary with no chance of victory every four years until i die. i believe that prisons, corporations, money, racism, sexism, car culture, the meat industry, pesticides, animal testing, public schools, high stakes testing, low stakes testing, testing, private ownership of land, property, and resources are evil and driving this planet to a painful death. all of us, are guilty to some extent.
but, we have done some good. thank you: charlie parker, charlie mingus, charlie brown, john coltrane, john brown, jackie gleason, jackie wilson, emma goldman, eugene debs, hank mobley, malcolm x, abbie hoffman, lenny bruce, angela davis, howard zinn, ike quebec, gene ammons, richard wright, dalton trumbo, george carlin, richard pryor, frank sinatra, sonny stitt, bud powell, the marx brothers, and so many more. for the laughs, and the notes, and the words we needed to hear, thank you.
if you would like, you can reach me at fidel813@yahoo.com.
the chairman thanks you again.
peace.