today

today was professional development day at my high school. all staff, including paraprofessionals (the chairman's category) needed to register for "classes" over the internet. my name was not in the system, even though i have worked at the school for three years, so i missed the deadline for registration. luckily the teacher i work with also had no group, so she ended up running a workshop for a few "paras" (not people, but "paras") who also had no where else to go. essentially, we masturbated for six hours, as we were afraid to leave early for fear of being "caught" by snooping administrators.
after being shown how to take attendance and iep's (quick...individualized education program. it used to be plan, but program has three more letters and one more syllable) we had the rest of the day to sit around to swap stories, ie, make fun of the students without the students being around to defend themselves. this is one of the main perks to my gig. oh yeah, and half my day is free and it's only a 30 hour work week. the salary is tough to live on, but i don't need much. an orgasm once in a while, that picture of eric dolphy with his bass clarinet, the red sox, the office every thursday, and i am just able to keep from going under.
yes, those stories we tossed around today. here are a few.
oman (remember him?) enters biology class. i ask him if he has his homework. he says no. i ask why. he says i wasn't home. britney is asked to multiply 7 times 1, and answers 7. she is then asked to multiply 1 times 1, and she says 7. oman is asked to multiply 1 times 1 and says 2? no, 4? simon is a student in our program who thinks he is a police officer. once a painter came to the high school. when he got out of his truck, simon eyed him with a purpose, and asked "are those commercial plates?" simon has dressed up as santa claus, an easter bunny, a policeman, and a member of the army. on his army uniform, he wore a button that said "peace is patriotic." simon would like to be a clown when he grows up.
just a taste of my gig. the job al grohs on me like a wart, and i jet out each day at 2:35 to get on with my life. i feel free, but the feeling doesn't last long, for rent will be due at the first of the next month, and i'm not ready quite yet to take up residence at the local park. i think i'll wait a little while longer before i allow snobby teenagers to set me on fire for a gag. no, better to live like a monk and blow smoke. actually, i was gonna blow joe frazier, but he wasn't homo, so i cleaned houseo instead. when i'm good and eddie i'll tell you the rest of the tail.
silberg has some sayings he would like me to relay.
always get the items on sale, because they are cheaper.
sex is great while you are having it, and overrated when you are not.
it takes courage to kill yourself; that's why so few people do it.
if it wasn't for black people, we would still be doing the polka.
god is asleep, but the devil is wide awake.
fuck david robinson. let him go fight for a country that is being attacked, like iraq. i'm sure they could use the resources of a millionaire who has been inside the war machine.
school takes time away from education
i'd rather be listening to wynton kelly
you want a look at the new fascism? watch tv, and don't hit the mute button when the commercials come on. hitler was bush league in comparison. (no pun intended, but that last line worked, huh?)
jessica said alba seeing you, but it's hard to see angels in the dark. so, i'll lay j lo, and perhaps this chip on my shoulder will fade into the light of the starrs, kay? you edwin some, and you lose some.
what is this blog good for?
absolutely nothing i suppose, just like all else we to do to keep from facing the fact that there is a war on against them and us, and i (we) can't stop it. i will rally against the war tomorrow. i used to think these mattered. now, i just go.
what is one to do?