work...

is really just like that film ground hog's day. the same material, same students, same coworkers, get paid every two weeks, same snacks in the machine, same mediocre veggie burger at the school restaurant, same mediocre people at the job who aren't so bad but after a few minutes you can't wait to get the fuck away from them. there is never anything to talk about. in fact, that is built into the school environment. i remember when i first became a sub; the woman interviewing me said to "never talk about religion, sex, or politics." nelson riddle's comment to his son, "what else is there?" rang in my head. and you can't talk to your coworkers either, because they have nothing to say, or, closer to the truth, what they have to say are things that you don't want to hear. for example, after two minutes, how am i supposed to maintain interest in whether cassel can replace brady? and mind you, i watch football! imagine if i didn't know what they were talking about! i used to be able to do the sports conversations...now even they bore me to tears.

furthermore, i am tired of saying hi to people. i am tired of someone knowing my name when i don't know their name, and i am tired of knowing someone's name who doesn't know mine. i am tired of people asking me "what i am doing for lunch?" hey motherfucker, i'm eating! the same fucking thing you are doing! then there is the "what are you doing this weekend?" well, whatever i'm doing, i won't be doing it with you, that much i know! and what about the feeble attempts by coworkers to hang out..."hey, we should get together some time, catch a ballgame or something." fuck you! if i didn't need the money, i wouldn't even have met you, and now you got us hanging out outside of work?

now, all of this passes for normal in our culture, but isn't it really insane? i mean, we are all spending about half our waking hours with people we don't give a shit about, doing work we don't give a shit about. ain't that some stupid shit? what is wrong with us? and then when a guy does manage to get by with a part time job, people will push him on, try to get him to work more, tell him he is a failure for not using his degree or making more money.

so yeah, it never really changes.

and the weird thing is, i'm one of the lucky ones. my job isn't too hard, and it's over early. but bullshit is still bullshit, even if others have it worse.

to paraphrase ray charles "the world is in an uproar, the bullshit zone is everywhere."