unbecoming

a video has appeared on youtube of a marine holding a puppy by its neck, and then throwing the puppy over a cliff. they are saying that "if this video is true" (how could it not be?) he could be tried for "conduct unbecoming a marine." as opposed to bombing a defenseless village, which is conduct becoming a marine. the most unbecoming thing a person can do is become a marine.

it has never seemed sillier, more meaningless to me, than it does right now. it's time for some action before i go one step beyond. but alas, there is no way to make a mclean break from it all. each day, a slightly altered replica of the one before it. the same stories, did you see american idol, the patriots resigned moss, racist jokes, insults from retarded students, stupid next door neighbors, banging pipes as the heat turns on, 6 hours or less of sleep each night, prancing male divas as coworkers, rednecked coworkers who can't forget they are irish, all the records beginning to sound the same, 24 hours feeling like 24 seconds one minute and 24 years the next, a sea of activity in my mind that doesn't correlate with the drop of water that is my life, alienation from the crowd, criminals in power and innocent men behind bars, a war on drugs as millions sit in the bars, peace shouted as wars are fought, freedom a mindless mantra, death the only truth, governments run by ignorant shits, music too mediocre for words, films not worth being paid to see, friends who aren't friends, family that bores you beyond boredom.

we are in an age when only our dreams are real, as reality has become a demented fantasy world run by semi illiterate murderers.

too much coffee and not enough sleep gets me every time. i suppose one stays up in the hope that it will somehow turn around.

i expect little to no sleep again tonight.