nodding out on newbury street

looking for the right gift. i start at urban outfitters. i laugh out loud when i spot an item that reads "you say tomato i say fuck you." later, i spy a booze container that reads "what wouldn't jesus do?" a shirt that reads "hip hop is dead" also catches my attention, but it's 28 dollar price tag quickly turns me off. i admit that i get a kick out of these items, but then i remember that you don't need a wildly over priced consumer good to make you cool.
then, it's on to newbury comics. a girl chatting on a cell phone: "should i buy dad "the departed or the office season 3?" i shout out, like an isley brother, "the office." she stares at me. i go back to aimlessly searching for the "right gift." i spot another "cool" t shirt. a caricature of a 1950's white guy smiles out of the shirt and states "i think you're gangster. do you think i'm gangster?" he's doing that finger thing.
the search for the perfect gift seemingly finds me clueless. the truth is, i don't know what i'm doing. at least that is a feeling i am used to. eventually, i
collect enough consumer goods and consider myself satisfied. as snow falls strongly on my head, the bus takes an eternity to arrive. all week, the bus and train has been horrible. i doubt they will take this into account when they decide to raise the fares again. ahh, another maddening day in the midst of the machine. however, i must admit, i got some cute stuff. onward to that damon, that christ was bourne.

friday, december 20th.

the last day of school before the brake. (break) n brings in a kareoke machine. the cool gang wants to celebrate because we are family, but we don't get around to using it. n cries at the end of the forever and a day over this. instead, they watch high school musical 2. i don't think citizen kane has anything to worry about.

you know you are racist if...
if you think bill wennington was the best player on the chicaco bulls.
if you think britney spears looks better than beyonce. you should knowles better than to think that.
if you blame everything on "the immigrants."
if you think watching rush hour gives you valuable insights into asian american culture.
if you move out of your neighborhood when they put up a bill board with a person of color on it.
if you cried when oj was found not guilty, but don't seem to care much about the thousands of unjustly imprisoned poor black men.
if you like the cosby show more than sanford and son.
if you have never been to a check casher's place.
if you think malcolm x was a racist.
if you only watch white pornography.
if you brag about donating to the urban league.
if you can't name the president of chad. (i must go in for sensitivity training)
if you love elvis, but never heard of jackie wilson.
if you think wilt chamberlain ruined basketball.
if you stopped listening to jazz after glenn miller.
if you watch cops.

christmas is coming. spend your money, you poor fools. celebrate when you are told to. follow, you average american, you ass. muslim and jew, join in. come on all, spend spend spend. sonny and cher the harold land, rick fox, for where there is a vanessa williams, there is a way. use your credit card. talk about a season of peace while the bombs are falling on innocent others whose names you can not pronounce. cook dinners and say prayers while your tax dollars pay to produce machines of murder. spend money on people you don't care about because they may be spending money on you and you don't want to feel funny if they do. spend about as much as you think they will spend on you, because that is how it's done. jerk off in a collective masterbatory celebration of consumerism. be a good american. fit in. wish people a happy new year. watch tv. go to the movies. buy a car. talk on a cell phone. pretend that people aren't starving. take a shit. go to work.

happy christmas and a merry new year.