went on james moody's website a while back, and he had pictures of his trip to the white house, shaking hands with bush, the whole bit. i should have stuck to the albums.

there was really nothing that dizzy couldn't play. people tend to think of him as a bebop guy, which of course he was, but he did a lot of great playing after bebop too. just a great player, and a wonderful musical spirit.

it's tough to work with someone and know that he basically won't change. i mean, no one should change if they don't want to, but this is something else. you can put in the time with some of these students, day after day, and each day will replicate the day before it...the conversations, the patterns, everything. there are laughs (you are not a good idea, you be neal) but more than anything, there is sadness to it all. it will be nice to step away from it for a few weeks. and when i go back, the students i'll be working with will be more on the ball. they get the joke, that sort of thing. it's not that i didn't dig these guys. i did, it's just that it gets you down sometimes.

remember the excitement after obama's election? where did that go? where are all those people who wanted change? outside the white house, that is. or maybe it was all just a beauty contest, a superbowl, a world series. root, root for the home team, martha. well, it does seem that it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ballgame. but, then again, we always strike out. so, i guess it's better now. at least his old man was from kenya.

but, what about the beggars on the street? the kids in pakistan? what about this polluted earth of ours, on life support, thanks to our eternal molestation of it? can these realities be spoken of? are we allowed to voice these ugly truths, in this time of supposed optimism? just where is the hope that we are hearing so much about? my sense is there is less hope than ever, but i have no sense, so maybe i'm wrong.

i can only hope.

why do i care about manny ramirez so much? he is making over 20 million dollars a year for swinging a baseball bat. i should hate all these guys, including him. but, each day, i get on yahoo and track his numbers for the day. when he gets a couple of hits, my day receives a shot in the arm, but when he goes hitless, i feel as if someone has nailed me with a shot to the ribs. i have never met the man, and now that he is out in la, surely never will. why do i care? the question can not hide the fact that i do. and when basketball season starts, i will cheer with the same unthinking lunacy for the old and tired jason kidd, rooting without hope for that first championship for mr. assist.

hell, it's something to do.