lately, i've been noticing that there are no pay phones in the phone booths. you know, i liked the pay phone. you had to come to it. it didn't run your life. if you needed to make a call, you looked for one. eventually, the local calls became limitless. i thought that was cool. just stand there and talk, without the machine telling you to hang up. all for 50 cents. i remember the different rates...25, 35, 50. how about that old expression "drop a dime?" what good slang has the cell given us? perhaps romanticizing the pay phone is a reach, but isn't there something soulful about it, at least in relation to that disgraceful invention, the cell phone? i continue to hold out on the cell. the laughter and confused looks have grown over the years. i respond that if someone wants to buy me one and pay the monthly bill, i just might consider owning one. strangely, no one has taken me up on this offer. you see, people want to give you stuff, but then they expect you to pay the bills. it's like the dude on the corner giving out free kittens. when you go looking for him to buy the cat food and kitty litter, the dude is long gone. hence, cats give you a computer, but expect you to pay for the internet. they throw an old tv your way, but don't return your calls when you ask them to cover your cable bill. oh, the indignity of it all.

seriously, don't we have enough phones in this country? i'm not even talking about the cobalt, and the millions in the congo who are being fucked because of our insane addiction to gadgets, inspector. rather, i am speaking merely to our own banal, craven fascination with mindless technology. and, are there really that many people to talk to? if so, why is my phone not ringing? do more people call you if you have a cell? who is it, deep down, that you really want to talk to, more than once or twice a week? but dudes cop out, say they are good for an emergency. bullshit. i have never seen a cell phone used for this purpose. it's always the same dickheads ruining my bus ride, talking about how they are laying some tracks down, or some loud girl yelling at her man. can't this shit wait until i'm far gone, and the people talking have vacated public property?

but no, once the flood hits, the water doesn't recede. and so it is. cell phones, iphones, ipods, texting.

and we laugh and mock the 50's.

in the 50's of the 21st century, we may well be the butt of the joke.

if there is anybody around to laugh.