the return of joe "the plumber."

it turns out that joe the plumber is not a licensed plumber. joe the plumber is angered that obama wants to raise taxes on people who make more than 250,000 a year. funny that this angers joe so, since he makes 40,000 a year. in fact, according to obama's plan, joe would get a tax cut. joe says that he would not want this tax cut. ok, let me see if i can get this straight; he doesn't want his taxes to be cut, and he doesn't want his taxes to be raised. some guys just can't make up their minds. joe thinks that everybody should have to pay the same tax rate. for example, a guy that makes 400 a week should take home 300, and a guy that makes 40,000 a week, should take home 30,000. if this is how it's done, how will the 400 a week guy make his rent, buy his food, and heat his home? in fact, how will he do this even if he isn't taxed at all? but if you took half or even more of the other guy's bread, he would still have all the money he needed and more. and what's the rich guy gonna do? it's not like he's gonna trade places with the poor guy just because he is "suffering" from a progressive income tax. he's not gonna say "man, i should become a janitor. they only get taxed at 20 percent." of course, obama's goals are likely not nearly as radical as this hypothetical, but the point remains.

joe, by the way, is behind on his property taxes. he "owes" the state of ohio about 1,100 bucks. also, it is unclear if he is even a registered voter. sadly, joe may have just been a plant, a republican trick to try to turn the tide. say it ain't so joe.

by the way, is joe the plumber any relation to joe six pack? and, if so, do either of them know john q. public? it is rumored that all three were seen at a party thrown by john and jane doe.

joe the plumber was a pathetic attempt to bring the personal into this election.

joe the plumber, you see, doesn't want to see the american dream stolen from him. and though he is 210,000 away from that plateau of 250,000, he refuses to stand by and watch the money he doesn't have be taken from him. in an age without heroes, joe has won our hearts, while we have lost our minds.

luckily, only about two weeks remains of this struggle between a political bill cosby and a man who the north vietnamese, unfortunately, let get away. yes, it will soon be over, but the example of joe the plumber will remain, and his spirit will strengthen us in our hour of need.

to paraphrase the great man himself, "don't take the money i don't have!"