Thursday, December 13, 2007

is that a serious comment?

today, mlb gets to rat out 60 to 80 baseball players. in my book, using a steroid is not high on a list of crimes. to me, the profits made by the league due to these players being accused of using steroids is a greater crime than the use of the drugs by the players. did you get that? and the bonds thing? a pure witch hunt, a crass attempt to tear down the greatest baseball player of our time because of his race and personality. if he has to do jail time, right away i am looking for real estate in mexico.
the high school i work at goes by the name of the brookline warriors. before that, it was the indians. people routinely bitch that the political correct crowd is pressuring the school unfairly in an attempt to change the name. i heard this rant from my coworkers today. i held my tongue, if only for the reason that i have to share space with these people at least until june. however, to myself, i did think of a new name for the school; the brookline crackers. what do you think? or how about the brookline jews? think it will pass mustard? i relish to see what name they come up with. and now, i am going to ketchup on the rest of my blog.
i'm sitting on the train last night. an older fellow is sitting opposite me. he is wearing a hat which reads "pow-mia: you are not forgotten." where to begin? first of all, if you are mia from a war that ended over thirty years ago, you are really kia. secondly, this whole pow thing was a myth cooked up by the nixon administration and its supporters to divert attention away from the true war crime, which was the massive anglo american bombing of southeast asia. furthermore, i have an idea for a new hat. it reads "napalmed vietnamese peasant: you are not forgotten." anyone interested?
today, students had to fill out a multiplication grid. the grid goes from 1 to 12. brittney said that 7 times 5 is 401, that 8 times 5 is 501, and that 1 times 0 is 40. there are more examples, but i think you can gather the point. should i laugh or cry? after hearing johnnie ray's recording of cry, i decided to cry. that's the bobby short of it, for while you have come a long way baby, you still have a howie long way to go to see dexter gordon. dexter called, and told me it would be a swingin affair. but i struck what to him was a blue note. quoting dick cheney, i told him i had other priorities, which included listening to war.

friday december 14th.

the mitchell report has come out. here is a summary.
clemens took steroids, and turned it into a mountain of joy. 87 other players were also named. some took human growth hormone, although andy only took a pettite amount. 42 communists, 21 anarchists, 6 fascists, and 2 right wing populists were also named. derek jeter was accused of illegally funding a campaign run by his pal, buddy jackson, who ran for alderman in englewood cliffs, new jersey. jeter gave him 75 dollars and a vintage alex english jersey. jackson still lost, but it was likely a much closer race because of jeter's influence. furthermore, kenny lofton was accused of urinating in a train station, although he denies the charges. "this really pisses me off" he exclaimed. matt clement was accused of reading the koran and asking "will killing people really end terrorism?" he has been shunned by his family and according to bud selig "a pox which can never go away has been placed upon his traitor ass." finally, kenny rodgers has been charged with funding al qaida. when the authorities invaded his home, (without a warrant, mind you) they found the complete works of osama bin laden, a 10 inch black dildo, and an original 45 of "i'm losing you" by the temptations. when asked about the charges, kenny furiously replied "i thought a man still had freedom of association in this country." when asked about the twin towers, he answered that he didn't want to talk about ralph sampson. rodgers is currently under house arrest. trying to stay upbeat, he said "i feel like saddam. i know what this is about, and i will fight it until the bitter end." he was last seen babbling incoherently, wearing fatigues, and claiming that pamela anderson was his sister.

remember when baseball was a game filled with american (ie, white) idols? simon says he does, but many no longer do. i think i will go to an escobar and drown in my own tears. performance enhancing drugs?

and you thought the bombing of southeast asia was bad.

this is the real tragedy.

kids, don't do drugs.

just join the army, drive suv's, eat at mcdonalds, and vote republican.

viva the united states of north america.

4 comments:

tree people said...

That was so funny, I spun around in circles and stubbed my big toe, no one noticed. (Maybe "they" will let me go home early!) peace.

ultrafknbd said...

Um, where can I buy that hat? Here's anotha one: "Al Gore: I'm With Stupid." That's it, I'm gifting Barry Bonds shirts to all them fools who are appalled by any of this. Philistines. Maybe if the Dolphins took some decent drugs they may not be in their current predicament. That's whatcha get for releasing Ricky Williams.

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