Wednesday, December 26, 2007

i have often walked down this paul street before


to blog or not to blog? that is the question. something about nobility. as a senior in high school i had to memorize green eggs and hamlet's soliloquy. remember that a soliloquy is a kind of monologue that only the audience can hear. we never did quite get around to johnny mercer got his gun in that class. for me, high school was a high noon filled with stormy weather. sometimes, in the still of the night, i would dream of a better reality somewhere over the rainbow, or perhaps, the gal (or is it girl? it's really man, but you know...not that there is anything wrong with that) that got away. but alas, it was only me and my shadow strolling down teardrop avenue. then i would get hungry and proceed to puttin on the ritz cracker to satisfy my hunger and to maybe get a snickers out of yours truly, or his falsely.
i have a friend who is waiting for the second coming. to this day, he has only had one orgasm. of course, one could wait for godot, but as i always say, you godot your way and i'll go mine, because i don't need your drama, for i am too old to play
games. why don't you just take your seat on this merry go round of life and enjoy the show? gleason to what i am saying before i jack you up, steal your carney, and drive it through a meadows in randolph. the honeymooners is over, so pay pal. it is time to account for yourself while there is still some interest in your story. don't waste time sitting on the dock of the ebay. otis is the time for great changes. so knock on nick wood, and perhaps, we will be awash in great floods. remember, god will not brook your excuses, which don't hold much water, only about four ounces.

you know you are racist...
if you keep trying to figure out why filipino people have spanish sounding names.
if you rant about "the chinese" everytime a korean guy pisses you off.
if you want a mexican guy to "speak english" on land that used to be mexico.
if you pray to a blue eyed blond haired god.
if you are known to bitch that "slavery happened a long time ago."
if you are always accusing people of being "too sensitive" every time they are offended by a racist remark.
if you are angry about how black people use the n word to each other but don't seem to be too bothered by police brutality.
if you blame everything on something called "hip hop culture."
if your all time nba team consists of bob cousy, jerry west, larry bird, kevin mchale, bill walton, john stockton, dave cowens, pete mavarich, bob pettite, george mikan, mark price, and bobby jones.
if you think pat boone improved on little richard's efforts.
if you like j lo better after they stopped showing her ass.

christmas is over, but the hole in my pocket remains. well, it's only paper with the faces of dead white murderers on it anyway, so i suppose spreading it around isn't the worst thing in the world. however, when half your money is going to keep a chinese take out joint in business, it might be time to talk to an accountant. did people get in the holiday spirit this year? it's hard to tell, because even though everyone pissed you off, you don't know how much more they would have pissed you off if it wasn't a holiday. so, are you enjoying that shirt you got, or the gift card to the place you never heard of? how about the obligatory call from that guy who is kind of your friend, except when you have to talk to him? better catch up on my dr. seuss.

a tiger escaped from a zoo and killed a person. the score is now people 3,567, 789,054,045,987 and animals 68. i suppose i shouldn't make fun, but i do think it would be nice if people would stop and think about who is usually the victim.

you are a great blues singer, charles brown.

and then, there was the sound of silence. don't simon, it could have been worse.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR WORDS. FUNNY, CLEVER, ORIGINAL!